When do you tell your kids about the new partner in your life and when is it okay to have him or her stay over? Do you ask the kids or do you just know when the time is right?
On Netmums.com it stated: “It’s probably quite a bad idea to let their first meeting to be in the bathroom on a Saturday morning after he or she has stayed over at your place for the first time!” I definitely agree with this!
Renowned researcher, Constance Ahrons, who conducted a 20 year study of children of divorce, concluded that most children find their parent’s courtship behaviours confusing and strange. Ahrons also found that some teenagers found open affection with a new partner troubling.
I think the most important things are:
1. Communicate with your kids;
2. take things slowly;
3. and make sure everyone is comfortable.
It is a very exciting time for the parents in a new relationship so it can be hard to keep grounded. However, it’s the new partners’ responsibility to be involved in making it a positive transition for all of the kids.
The easy thing is parents know their kids well and what they could be comfortable with, however, it is also vital to remember that kids see things very differently to adults so never be reassured if a child says: “It’s okay Mum,” because only you (as the responsible parent) really know!!!!!
Finally, the transition is vital and one of the most important issues early on so get plenty of advice on how to do it properly and if you think it’s too soon, it probably is. Good luck